Dedicated to All 41-year-olds :)

Betcha that the salsa posse at Little Havana will be none too pleased with my decision to stay home tonite as it will be the 3rd yr in a row that I'll escape the traditional bday ragging by them. I think it's good to veg out once in a while n have a conversation with...just myself. Not a sign of me going cuckoo but it's good to touch base with your inner self once in a while...even more significant when I reflect on my life for the past 41 yrs.

The last 20 yrs hasn't been entirely kind to me....I've had my fair share of bad bosses, glass ceiling jobs, bad relationships, bad exam results, misjudgements, family crisis, accidents, injuries n illnesses...but I've always believed that the Big-Boss-Up-There is fair - in return he gave me a strong mind, supportive parents, good friends & a wallet that is not always full but never empty.

Sometimes I feel that my fortunes are changing for the better - life works in cycles n when things can't go down any further, the only way they go is up. A few yrs ago I met a guy who studied Indian astrology. He told me that a person's life is already charted in the planets from the day he is born. He is destined to go thru different cycles/phases in life....by the mere movement n alignment of planets his fortunes will change. I'm beginning to see some logic in this concept.

There's no denying that age has a way of reminding me of its presence - particularly in the physical dept. Wrinkles, sags, cellulite, stretch marks, wobbly knees, bunions - but there's nothing that boosting creams, push-up bras n a good reflexologist can't help with :p. In return I've gained wisdom n confidence.

If I were to be asked what my recipe is for remaining sane after all these years, I guess it'll look something like the following :-

Spring clean your life every now n then
Remove bad friends, crappy bosses, ill-fitting clothes, worn-out shoes, mouldy relationships from your closet. If they didn't help you look or feel good in the past chances are they won't in the future. Out of a sense of insecurity n guilt it is not always easy to let go but you need space in your life for stocking up new (and better) things.

Never bear a grudge...for too long
This one is never easy. I used to be a very emotional person n find it hard to detach a situation from a person. But I later realise that I have put way too much baggage on myself.

It's normal human reaction to be angry.....but life is too short for carrying a burden for too long.

Take care of your health...and it will take care of you
It doesn't matter how u do it - exercise, dance, housework, a roll in the hay ;) ...your body n mind are the first things that came with you into this world n the last you'll leave behind. So do not abuse them for too long.

Have a hobby
Be it throwing a jab at an imaginary person in the gym, dancing till your legs cramp, warbling your lungs out in the karaoke, shutterbugging everyone n everything with your RM10k DSLR, learning how to bake, making your own mugs, busting your credit at the shopping malls (not adviseable though), going to the spa....all of us need a bit of diversion to recharge our batteries.

Always give of your best
Never ever compromise yourself as you will only be cheating yourself. I remember a Sixth Form teacher who used to say "Give to the world of your best, and the best will come back to you". It was a really big statement back then but now I realise that she could be talking about good karma n good vibes. Wise words indeed.

Be true to yourself
To some ppl, being in denial is sometimes the easier way out of situations or circumstances. You may be able to put on an act now, but you won't be able to do so for the rest of your life.

Help others whenever, wherever n however you can
Don't ask me why I do it....I'm no angel but it's always in my nature to help others. Of course when I grew older I became wary of certain people who claim they need my help - it can be a big bad world out there - you just gotta trust your instincts on this.

Each of us have our individual talents n abilities, so there are many ways that we can extend help to those who need it. Just think of it as buying materials to build a bigger n better heart.

Accept the fact that life is unfair
Ok I may have copied this shamelessly from Richard Carlson but there is profound truth in this. Some ppl spend too much time n energy whining n stressing themselves out about how tough things are but life does not come without its challenges. Acceptance is the key.

See the positive in everything that you do
When life throws you lemons (like it or not, it always does), go make lemonade. This has helped me tremendously when I was faced with crappy situations. It helps build self-respect.

Step out of your comfort zone...sometimes
You will never know your true capabilities until you try. Sure, some situations may make you look like a complete jackass but you'll never lose the lessons learnt.

Never lose your capacity to love
Be it love for your family, partner, God, friends, colleagues, animals, the earth...even if you came from an emotionless family, suffered bad relationships n shitty ppl....we are all still capable of love n being loved.

I was never too crazy abt bday celebrations....but I think it's time that I acknowledge my existence in this wonderful journey called Life.