Do Things Happen For A Reason?

This is probably the only time that I'll ever post so many blog entries within a week. My life for the past week has slowed down significantly as I temporarily throw out all of the robust activities that has become such a big part of me. Heck, I've even been walking a lot slower than I usually do. Perhaps it's a sign from the powers-that-be that I should give myself a break from routine. Or is it a warning sign that I've turned four-O & shd probably take better care of myself than I already am? So do things really happen for a reason?

Looking back at the past 5-7 yrs, I've gained a lot of friends, new skills, developed a more gung-ho attitude (sometimes with embarrasing results) & probably seen a lot more than I did in the first 30 yrs of my life. All these reqd very conscious effort that I shd come out of my shell or risk being left behind. At the same time I've lost touch with old friends or we've just simply grown apart due to the different paths we've chosen to take in our lives.

Some time ago I read an article in Cleo (probably the only local ladies' magazine that has some substance IMHO) on how we shouldn't cling on to friends despite knowing that they have grown apart from us. It's a big lesson on letting go & giving one another opportunities to make new friends & learn new experiences. Having realised this, I don't feel so guilty abt missing some old girls' get-togethers as there's really no common ground to bind me with them anymore except for the past.

I find that it also applies to my past relationships - it has become easier to accept the fact that sometimes things don't work out the way they were intended to. So I have the choice of deciding if I want to dwell in the past or to release the burden of bearing a grudge, learn my lessons & move on.

People change with every breathing moment. They gain new experiences, make mistakes & learn lessons as they go along. This is the inherent duty of any human being as they walk the face of this earth. Something is seriously wrong with anyone who does not change with time, or deny that they have changed.

Living in the 21st century meant better education opportunities for all, more knowledge to grasp & more challenges to face. People always wonder why married couples grow apart. To me, a marriage is a union between 2 people...2 human beings who are still very much individuals in their own right, evolving & improving all the time. Sometimes the paths they ultimately choose may differ - it has nothing to do with love lost, it's just a natural progression of their lives. Changes may occur during the marriage - it could be something as simple as a job or career change which will trigger off the entire chain of events.

That was exactly what happened to one of my aunts - she filed for divorce from her husband after 20 yrs of marriage. Her past romantic life was taken out from the script of a soppy 70s Taiwanese love story - her then-boyfriend (a terrific guy) had to work overseas for long periods of time, asked his friend to keep an eye out for her, and being the sentimental person she is (she did watch a lot of those Bridgette Lin-Chin Han films), she ended up falling for & marrying this friend (now her ex-husband). Relatives questioned my aunt's wisdom in choosing a husband, so it wasn't any surprise to them that the marriage bombed; but everyone was astonished that it took so many yrs to happen.

Now don't get me wrong...I'm all for marriage; however I will go into it with a sense of realism, to always cherish & appreciate my other half, to encourage him to grow as a person as long as we are capable of walking together in this wonderful journey called Life.

Of course a lot of ppl out there will disagree with my views - you have every right to. After all we are charting & walking our own paths. Live & let live.